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A note from the field


Aug 6, 2017

If you want a Gold Finger – we’ll show you how…

James Bond the ultimate British hero. Men want to be him, women want to be with him. Pretenders might come and go – yes I’m talking to you Jason Bourne but the man with the Martini is here to stay. So in our exclusive Smart Turnout guide we have all the steps that will literally transform you into James Bond. Well okay maybe not but this is as close as we can get.

1) The name’s Bond, James Bond

So you want to be Britain’s finest then you have to have a catchy name. Hate your name? Make up a new one but don’t underestimate the importance of it. Try saying the name’s Bates, Norman Bates a few times and you’ll see. If you have a short name trying uttering it with an air of mystery and a raised eyebrow. And if you are unwilling to change your name just for this blog don’t despair: the name James Bond was originally devised because it was ordinary…

2) Martini – shaken not stirred

Find a signature drink – we suggest spirit based – beer swivelled around a lot just doesn’t have the requisite ring to it. Make a strange request with your drink and insist on it. Vodka on the rocks with a sliver of lime and a swizzle stick. Practise so you can say it with confidence and remember: if anyone laughs, it is because they are envious. You may need to remember this a lot…

3) Dress sharp

No matter what you are doing ensure you are always dressed to kill. Going to the shops? Wear a suit and tie and carry a cocktail glass. Off to watch a DVD with a friend? What better way to make sure they appreciate your inner James Bond than by wearing a Bow Tie. Friends will envy you woman will want you…

4) Drive an Aston Martin

For those of you on anything other than a bankers salary, this might prove tricky. Actually, with the results of the recession, it will likely prove tricky anyway but if you are going to be Bond you need to drive an Aston Martin. Bond in a Mini just doesn’t have the right…. image. And as an extra note naming your Aston Martin Martin will instantly lose you Bond points. Don’t do it.

5) Stop ageing

It might sound impossible but if you are really committed to the cause then it is essential. The ability to completely change your appearance would also be considered advantageous in the quest to become Jimmy B.

6) Date lots of women

If you want to talk the talk you have to walk the walk. To truly be James Bond you will need to make sure you are never seen with the same woman for more than one week in a row. Luckily all the above tips should help with this…

So let us know how you get on and as always please do leave your comments.

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